Yeah, so lately it has been a bit rough for me to justify being vegan. It's mostly due to our living conditions. I'm still out of work and being told I'm overqualified left and right. How exactly can a secretary be overqualified?! (in desperation I've applied for minimum wage jobs) So our finances are tight, which means no eating out. Probably a good thing due to our dining out issues.
Wookiepants is footing all our bills and I hate to ask him for any money to get groceries primarily for yours truly. The rest of the family is happy to live on meat/starch heavy diet supplemented with a daily vitamin, which is much cheaper than what I usually eat. Today for lunch I had bread with a piece of pretty craptastic vegan cheese on top melted via the microwave. I'm starving right now, but instead of getting some more bread, I crave fresh veggies.
Tonight the in-laws are having big, huge inch thick steak. Ah, but what will I eat? --this is an everyday dilemma for me. I've made suggestions many times before and offered to cook my own meal every night. (this is usually turned down) I try to not be an ungrateful wretch, as our rent payment is such a great deal, including our groceries and utilities.
Ok, so if being vegan is going to place a burden on my family, why do it? This is the question I have been struggling with. I feel tension building each time I make a separate dinner for myself, when I am allowed to. There is so much leftover of their Omni meals that often most of it goes to waste. Isn't it somewhat horrible of me to watch that food waste away? That some animal was butchered for the sole purpose of rotting in some back corner of the fridge?
Still, I cannot bring myself knowingly to eat meat or it's byproducts. Every time I think about it, a movie reel begins to play, repeating what I've seen of the brutal killing of the animals for food purposes. Sometimes, though, I think I should just suck it up and stop being such a thorn in the side of the family's meals. Everyone would be so much happier if I would, I think. I find it ironic that the reason I started eating a vegan diet is because of health issues, but the reason I continue to follow it is because of animal cruelty in the food industry.
Ok, so enough whining. I'm trying to think what I can do that will make things easier to keep eating vegan without dining on bread/toast/cheese. My wonderful Wookiepants will (if I just swallow my pride and ask him) find a place in the budget for about $10-15 a week or so. I know frozen veggies are sometimes cheaper, so maybe I will stock up on those. And I know that Vegan Dad sometimes finds second-chance veggies/fruits at No Frills, which we have around where I live. (I find No Frills to be a scary place due to the lack of manners of its patrons)
I'll will just have to finalize some weekly meal plans that rely primarily on rice/whole grains. And if I can find some time to cook, I can squirrel away some meals. Otherwise it will be convenience vegan foods, which are not very healthy. I'll deal...thanks for reading my vent. It really helps somehow just to put all this frustration out on the net. :)